Photos of the Birth *Graphic Content Warning*

These photos continue my birth story from pushing through delivery. They are raw and unedited, please continue to scroll only if you are interested in seeing these details of the birth.

 At this point I was not feeling a natural urge to push, but I was feeling done with labor. I was having a harder time making it through my contractions and just wanted baby to come out! I was focused on relaxing and opening, hoping the baby would just move down and slip out, LOL.

 Between contractions I was resting, almost sleeping, no longer engaging in conversation, I needed it very quiet. Everyone in the room was so receptive and respectful, it was silent between contractions.

 I would periodically check myself to see if the head was any further down, but at this point it was not moving so I started doing "1 second" pushes at the peak of my contractions.

 Heather put some orange essential oil on a cloth, the smell was uplifting and gave me some energy.

 During pushing they checked the baby's heart rate about every 10-15 minutes, after a contraction, listening for late decelerations. Baby sounded great every time we listened.

 At this point I asked my midwife to "help me!" I wanted to get the baby out but was not feeling the urge to push. I had been the only one to check my dilation up until this point. Karen doesn't routinely check women unless they ask to be checked or if she thinks there is something going on and a vaginal exam is necessary. When she checked me she smiled, "the baby is right here" she said. She offered to help give me some pressure so I had something to focus on and push against.

 So with the next few contractions I pushed with her guidance.

 I remember apologizing to her when I saw how wet she was, I asked for some of the water to be taken out of the pool and she simply smiled and said "I have another change of clothes." Of course she did, with over 1,000 births under her belt, I am sure this is not the first time she has ended up wet :)

 Once I had moved the baby a little further down, Karen moved to behind me, she pulled up on my butt cheeks and instructed me to push back into her hands. It was great to feel more grounded and to have something to push against.

 Craig was so sweet and encouraging the whole time. I really relied on Sheridan during my labor but as I started pushing I found that I looked to Craig and Karen to encourage me. They had both seen be do this before and they knew I could do it again. 

 Kylie was in the water with me the whole time I was pushing. She was so great. Just quietly watched and swam around the warm water. She wasn't scared or nervous. We had watched many birth videos in preparation and she had been very excited about being at the birth of our baby. She took it all in stride and was so sweet and supportive.

 Now it had not been a long time, but I was feeling frustrated that this baby "still wasn't here" "why didn't it slip out?" "Why did I have to push so hard?" Silly questions now looking back, but at the time I felt like I had been pushing forever and the baby was NEVER going to come. Karen suggested using gravity (she had suggested this before but the water is my comfort zone and I was scared to get out). So at this point I stand up and try pushing.

 back into the water between contractions.

 Heather is supporting my perineum as the baby starts to crown.

 As I feel the baby crown I say "I need the water!" So I lower myself back down. This part is always SO hard, the ring of fire, knowing that I need to take it slow so I don't tear, feeling like I just don't want to do it, 100% sure my body is ripping in half, but knowing "the only way out, is through."

 And then there is a head. "the head, the head" I said over and over. "it's kicking me, so hard!"

 "It's turning it's head. I can feel it turning it's head."

 we waited until the next contraction and pushed out the shoulders.

  I kept him under the water while I unwrapped the cord from around his body, he opened his eyes and stretched his arms and legs.

 I slowly brought him up and he took his first breath when his face touched the air. It is truly amazing to watch a baby under the water. On some level it feels dangerous or like they need to be rescued, but then you remember that they have been living in water for their whole life, the cord is still providing all the oxygen they need and now they just have more room to move around. The water in the tub was warm, at least body temp if not a little warmer, so it is a nice transition before touching the cold air.

 As soon as I pulled him to my chest, Kylie came over to get a closer look. It was amazing, as it always is. Within a matter of seconds all my pain was GONE! He was here! All the hard work was worth it! It is this crazy oxytocin rush that makes natural birth so addicting. The incredible feeling of accomplishment, being pushed to your physical and mental edge, being scared to take the next step, then you do, and you are holding a beautiful baby. There is honestly nothing like it.